Energetic Transference in Relationships
By Anna Tuchtan
I wanted to write this article because many clients I see, seek help to understand and untangle relationships, whether they are staying or leaving. What I see is that there are many ways that we transfer energy to each other that is fundamentally a form of dependency. I wanted to share how we carry another’s energy from a spiritual healing perspective, especially our partners, and how we too can put ourselves in their energetic field or body.
When we are in an in-love state, we feel a pleasurable openness, a receptivity that makes it so easy to feel the spirit of another through our own spirit. It is the connection to our own spirit that really is magnificent and if someone else helps us feel that, then that is a beautiful thing. This experience is often felt at the start of a relationship, however, as time goes by it easy to create a dependency for happiness if we don’t focus, even sometimes, on our own connection to joy and beauty separate to our partner.
When we fall in love, we energetically allow someone deep into ourselves. We are connected and therefore, we are much more susceptible to feeling each others emotions. So as not to be taken through someone else’s emotional pain, it is valuable to learn to feel ourselves, how to take space, how to care when we can and most of all make sure we care for ourselves. This is the beginning of creating a healthy relationship.
There are many ways that we energetically creep into our partners energetic field or body in unhealthy ways. This is different to feeling someone's spirit and our own in the in-love space. Unhealthy ways that I have seen include crawling inside the other so as not to feel, smothering to limit another’s radiance, covering different organs particularly genitals, reproductive organs and the heart with energies that carry emotions like shame, jealousy, neediness, control, and blame. These all can penetrate another’s energetic field and body. This has an impact on our emotional and sometimes physical wellbeing. When this is realised by either person it is best not to judge or blame that this happens and know that both people can learn through this whether they are the receiver or the giver of the emotional energy.
When we leave a relationship it can become more obvious as to what we have taken on or given away, so there is an opportunity to learn how we did that. But it is also extremely valuable to look at this when staying in a relationship that feels difficult. It is important to learn how to be ourselves within a relationship and let go of what is not ours. This best supports each person’s connection to their own spirit and amazingly the in-love state has more opportunity to reemerge.
The overall intention of any healing is to strengthen the connection to one’s spirit. When I give healings for clients that are having difficult relationships, I see the emotional energy from their partner, if transference has occurred, where it lies in their body and how that affects them. Healings support them to come back into that part of their body, allowing them to take occupancy again, raise their vibrational energy to the level so that the lower vibrational energy, that belongs to another, leaves. The whole process helps them see how they let this happen. A strengthening comes from the experience and choices can be made in understanding how to hold oneself and how to relate in the future with the same person or another.