Right now, as you read this, you may be considering why you should stay in your marriage. Perhaps you’ve been considering leaving for a while now? Or perhaps something has happened recently that has made you question the strength of your marriage? Honestly, if you haven’t questioned your marriage at some point then you are indeed in the rare minority!

A long term relationship is not easy, and there are many challenges that you have no doubt faced in the past, and will continue to face in the future. But before you take the leap out of the fire and into the great unknown, please take some time to consider the following facts:

  • Divorced parents aged 45-65 have 25% less assets than their married counterparts
  • The average cost of divorce litigation in Australia is estimated at between $50,000 and $100,000
  • Almost half of divorced families experience poverty following the divorce
  • When parents get divorced it almost doubles the chances that their children will also get divorced 
  • Children whose parents are married tend to be more academically successful, more emotionally stable, and assume more leadership roles. They also do less drugs and commit fewer crimes 
  • Married people are less likely to get sick, have surgery, develop cancer, or have heart attacks
  • Married couples have more sex and a better quality of sex than single, divorced, or cohabitating individuals (yes, it’s true!) 
  • A stressful marriage has been shown to have as many harmful effects on the heart as a regular smoking habit. But on the other hand, a strong, healthy relationship has been shown to boost your immune system, increase your wealth, and create a strong model for your children to follow. In fact, children want nothing more than to see their parents happy together. The greatest gift you can give them is to work on your relationship.

    You may think that there is no hope for improvement in your marriage. But the truth is it is simply the patterns of behaviour that you get stuck in that are causing your issues, not your partner. Changing these patterns are the key to turning things around, and if you are willing to look honestly at your role in the problems, and work at creating a more constructive pattern, then absolutely anything is possible.

    It’s very easy to think that there might be someone better out there for you. But remember this; though most of us are aware that the divorce rate is around 50%, what is less well known is that the divorce rate for second marriages is close to 70%, and third marriages is almost 80%. So wouldn’t it be better to fix your current marriage rather than hoping for someone else to fix you?

    Unless you are in an abusive relationship, the answer is not to run away, but to work with your partner to remove the negative patterns of the past, and create new empowering patterns that will benefit you both as a couple and as individuals. This absolutely can be achieved – all you need is a willingness to learn and to let go of blame. On your own, however, this can be difficult, so utilising a relationship coach to help you clarify the patterns you are in and create a new empowered future can be hugely beneficial. The results may just blow your mind!

    Matt Glover is a relationship expert with Happy And Healthy Relationships. If you would like to learn how to improve or ignite your relationship, book a free consultation here: http://www.happyandhealthyrelationships.com/ or contact Matt on 0416 211 424, or email matt@happyandhealthyrelationships.com

    Energy Healing and Kahuna Massage

    As a Health Information Manager for the past 10 years in multiple public hospitals throughout
    Victoria, Karlie Fitzpatrick felt compelled to help people more.
    Following her passions, her work now enables others to find their path towards a better life and
    health. She is proficient in Reiki, Reiki Teaching, Kahuna and Polynesian massage, Tarot Reading,
    Hypnotherapy and NLP (neuro linguistic processing), Access Bars, Crystal Light Bed and Crystal
    Healing.
    After years of training with other like-minded experts, she has learned to share her experience
    through a combination of services and education.
    “It is my intention to guide those willing towards a life with more direction and clarity,” says Karlie. “I
    want to share the power of healing, self-love, spiritual guidance and growth with all of those willing
    through a variety of modalities and treatments.”
    A passionate healer with an alternative approach, Karlie is dedicated to helping her clients move
    through a wide range of physical, emotional, and spiritual transitions in the most efficient and
    transformative way possible.
    “I want to facilitate positive change in a warm, loving and compassionate environment. I assist
    clients to find ways to unlock the potential of self-healing, acceptance, self-love and growth,” Karlie
    says. “First love yourself and the rest will fall into place.”

    In conjunction with Prana House Wellness, Karlie would like to offer 20% off all services for first time visits and 30% off if you refer a friend. Valid for two months.

    https://www.kfhealing.com

    Radical Exposure Therapy with Yogahari Healing

    Radical Exposure tapping is a form of exposure therapy designed to assist people heal from
    traumatic events by effectively resolving memories that feed post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety,
    anger and conflicting patterns of relating with others. Its approach combines the well-researched
    Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
    Radical Exposure therapy works for people who are ready, open and willing to be free from
    distressing feelings and entrust themselves to being directed by the therapist. Being open to riding
    the wave of intense and confronting emotions that arise during the process contributes to the
    success of this profound healing technique.
    Therapy sessions begin by exploring family of origin and memories of significant distressing or
    traumatic events. Once a therapeutic rapport has been established between the therapist and client,
    the therapist takes note of what the person remembers seeing during the traumatic event and what
    they are feeling in their body while recalling the event to the therapist. This information is then used
    by the therapist who guides the process of repeating bits of this information back to the client. The
    client then repeats back what the therapist says whilst tapping on different areas of their body. Prior
    to the process, the therapist guides the “safe place” exercise to ensure that distressing memories
    can be safely managed during the therapeutic process.
    Eleni is a qualified Social Worker/therapist, Family Constellation facilitator and certified yoga teacher
    and has been working in the therapeutic field supporting people heal for twenty years.
    If you would like to book a session with Eleni contact her on: 0403 774 410, or visit
    yogaharihealing.com to view her offerings.

    Tesla Metamorphosis Healing Sessions – 40% Discount Offer

    Since I have only just begun my journey as a Tesla Metamorphosis® practitioner, I would like to
    extend an offer to all first-time clients of a 40% booking fee discount (until further notice).
    Tesla Metamorphosis® is a form of energy/spiritual healing which has the intent to bring the
    frequency of light in the human body into a perfect state of balance. This is achieved by connecting a
    person to higher intelligence frequencies of light and information which affect DNA and elevate
    human consciousness. Once the perfect balance of light is restored, healing can take place.
    For further enquiries or to make a booking, contact Tracy at wisdomtreehealing@gmail.com or visit
    www.wisdomtreehealing.com

    Why is it So Hard to Love Ourselves?

    Loving ourselves does not come easily for many of us, and yet self-love is the foundation of
    resilience. The only person you will be with for the entirety of your life from birth to death is you.
    There will be many others sharing the journey of life with you but only you will be there through all
    of your experiences. It makes sense then that if you can get good at loving yourself you will set
    yourself up to be able to support yourself in healthy ways through life’s ups and downs.
    Furthermore, a by-product of loving and appreciating yourself is that you will naturally attract others
    who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
    Let’s consider why it is so hard to love ourselves and why it does not come naturally for many of us.
    When we come into the world, we are love. Pure love. You only need to look into a baby’s eyes to
    see that. Then an event occurs and we experience emotions other than love for the first time. It
    might be that a parent takes a toy from us or raises their voice at us. We feel love has been
    withdrawn and we experience negative emotions such as sadness or fear as a consequence. We then
    start to take on a belief that we are flawed in some way or unlovable. It is worth noting too that our
    individual level of emotional sensitivity dictates the extent to which experiences, both positive and
    negative, impact us.
    We take on our parents conditioning and therefore, our outlook on life including beliefs about
    ourselves will often be similar to our parents’ beliefs. This is not about blaming our parents for the
    way we feel about ourselves, as they were always doing the best they could with the awareness,
    knowledge and understanding they had at the time. Rather, this is about shining a light on factors
    which contribute to the way we view ourselves which in turn, effects how we experience the world.
    When we feel that we are unworthy of attaining a partner, job, good health or something else that
    we would like in our life, it is very unlikely we will attain it easily because our default is to act in ways
    that correspond to how we feel about ourselves. Therefore, we will stay in jobs we hate, won’t ask
    that person out on a date etc because we don’t believe we will be successful. We quit before we
    have dared to even begin.
    Furthermore, people’s behaviour toward us will often mirror how we view ourselves. Therefore, if
    we have low self-esteem it is not uncommon to be caught in a cycle of attracting people into our
    space that verify our limited view of ourselves and thus we find ourselves perpetuating an unwanted
    cycle of self-loathing.
    The good news is you can break out of this cycle with awareness. Being willing to see yourself as
    worthy regardless of what past experiences have taught you is the first step. Understanding that you
    have learned you’re unworthy through other people who struggled to see their own worth, is
    liberating.
    You are free to reclaim your worth.
    The ball is in your court. You can transform your life with the healing power of your own love when
    you are willing to commit to yourself and take the steps. By deliberately taking action to love
    yourself by doing what you need to do to heal your life, including asking for help when you need it
    and softening judgement of yourself, you’re on your way.
    If you would like to delve deep into learning how to love yourself more and learn how to release
    negative experiences which prevent you from seeing your worth, I’m available at Prana House on
    Wednesday evenings for one to one healing sessions.
    With love and blessings,
    Cindy Melksham
    Energy Healer & Empowerment Coach
    www.affirmyourpower.com.au

    Oil Cleansing to Beat Winter Dryness

    Oil cleansing has been around for thousands of years, originating from Middle
    Eastern countries and Eastern Europe. In times gone by, a few drops of pure olive oil
    was applied with wet face cloth then gently wiped on the face/body to wash the skin
    from dust and other impurities.
    These days, dermatologists are catching up to this old way of cleansing the skin, not
    because it’s just a new beauty craze – there is scientific evidence to back up these
    positive benefits. Compared to expensive cosmetics, oils are affordable, easy to apply
    and harbour less nasty chemicals. It is ideal for acne, sensitive skin, eczema and many
    other skin ailments. The oil provides hydration which repels dry skin and
    inflammation.
    Our skin hosts both good and bad bacteria. Which type is currently dominating the
    skin culture will determine whether there is acne or other blemishes. The good news
    is that using quality oil, like the organic varieties available at reputable health food
    stores, will feed the good bacteria on the skin to help protect it and assist any repair if
    necessary. Rancid oil does the opposite and thus causes break outs and assists the
    baddies. Toxic skin products are also known to impact the health of the skin in this
    way.
    Organic oils to consider washing with:
    Jojoba oil – ideal for clogged pores, acne and sensitive skin that’s prone to eczema,
    perfect for sealing in moisture
    Rosehip oil – with high levels of Vitamin C and fatty acids, it is antimicrobial, ideal
    for mature skin and allows wrinkles to relax.
    Both contain Vitamin E that is the most important for the skin structure.
    How to use: Dispense a small amount of your chosen oil – perhaps 1 -3 drops per
    application – with a wet cloth, apply in gentle circular motion over the face including
    the ears, then reapply as needed. That’s it.
    Oils to be wary of:
    Coconut oil – some people don’t react very well to it, so use a very small amount to
    do a patch test if you decide to give it a go.
    Olive oil – the quality is questionable in Australia, unless you know it is 100%
    organic.

    Self care body massage:

    If you want to help your whole body to beat dry skin, increase blood circulation and
    invigorate your energy levels, then why not try warming organic black sesame oil?
    Prior to giving yourself a body massage, starting from your feet all the way to the top
    of your head including your hair – ranging from circular pressure along any area
    where you may be holding onto tension. Take your time.
    Leave it on and slowly melt into a warm bath to let it sink into the skin, or rinse it off
    in the shower after 5-10 minutes. Be warned: it can get messy and slippery, so be sure
    to use some old towels in the process and take care when entering the shower.
    Your skin will feel soft and hydrated afterwards and your muscles relaxed, perfect for
    a self care pamper. If you wish to go the extra mile, then use an exfoliating mitt on the
    body alone after wards but it’s not essential. Repeat once a week or as you feel guided to.
    Enjoy!
    For more information and to make a booking head to
    www.mjlaskov.com.au
    Or Facebook: @mjlaskov
    Instagram: mj_laskov

    There are many, many ways that we either consciously or unconsciously sabotage our relationships.
    The success of our relationships relies on a constant process of trial and error – finding out what
    works and what doesn’t and navigating the choppy waters with a shared sense of purpose and
    direction. Any one of those challenges we face can escalate into a relationship threatening crisis if
    not understood and given the attention it needs. Following are ten common reasons why
    relationships fall apart:


    1. Withdrawing – Often issues that really need to be dealt with get swept under the carpet for one of
    two reasons; either we feel it is too difficult or uncomfortable to confront, or we feel (or our partner
    makes us feel) that it is not significant enough to bring up. However, anything that is important to
    one or both partners that is left unresolved will gradually create resentment and will likely explode
    (often about something entirely unrelated) sometime in the future.


    2. Reduced Affection – It’s natural that our desire for physical affection reduces once our hormones
    revert back to normal levels after the initial stages of falling in love. However consistent non-sexual
    physical touch is essential to retain intimacy and closeness in your relationship. Simple things such as
    holding hands, hugs and gentle loving touches are vital to maintaining that connection.


    3. The Need to be Right – Whenever we are determined to be right we automatically dismiss our
    partner’s opinion. And when we feel dismissed we are unlikely to feel inclined to be intimate with
    our partner. In most cases there is no right or wrong, and we all see the world through different
    eyes. Being open to your partner’s opinions will make them feel more valued, and allows the
    opportunity to find a different solution.


    4. Not Making Your Relationship Your Top Priority – After we settle down it is easy to put work, kids
    etc ahead of our intimate relationship. However the quality of your relationship affects the quality of
    everything else in your life, and if we neglect it everything suffers. And your kids want nothing more
    than for the two of you to be happy. The quality of your relationship affects the quality of their lives
    enormously.


    5. Not Listening – Most of us think we are good listeners, but few of us are. We hear, but we don’t
    truly listen. Listening is a skill, and utilising effective questioning to follow up what our partner has
    said is vital to them feeling understood and supported.

     


    6. Excessive Criticism – We all criticise at one time or another, and generally it is not overly harmful.
    But when criticism becomes the predominate method of communication in your relationship then
    you will quickly find yourselves in trouble. Criticism is an ineffective way of achieving what you
    desire, so it is vital to find other methods of communicating your needs.


    7. Dishonesty – Trust is vital in an intimate relationship, and any dishonesty will quickly erode that
    trust. Often it’s not the act that causes the most hurt, it is the dishonesty about it that really drives a
    wedge between you.


    8. Invalidating Your Partner – We all come from different backgrounds, environments and
    experiences, and as a result we all have a unique view of the world. If we are determined to make
    our partner see the world through our eyes we send the message that they are not valued for who
    they are, and as a result they will become reluctant to share their thoughts and feelings with you.


    9. Excessive Anger – Few of us are immune to the odd outburst of anger, and occasionally it can be
    healthy for a relationship, but when anger becomes pervasive it can tear a relationship apart. Some
    people can handle anger better than others, and often the perpetrator doesn’t understand the
    destructive effect their anger has on their partner. It can make them feel belittled, fearful and
    unsafe, and that is a recipe for distancing yourself from your partner.

     


    10. Lack of Affirmation – We all react more positively when we feel accepted as we are. However as
    a relationship goes along it is very easy to get caught up in the negatives and begin to overlook the
    good things about our partner and our relationship. It’s vital to a healthy relationship to make a
    point of seeing the good things and pointing them out to your partner.
    These are just a few of the common issues in relationships, and any one of them can lead to the
    demise of your relationship if not attended to. If any of these are infiltrating your relationship, then
    perhaps now is a good time to do something about it.

     

    Book your COMPLIMENTARY Relationship Check-up with Matt Glover. Bookings can be made via email or ph: 0416 211 424

     

    www.happyandhealthyrelationships.com

    Autumn is marked by the changes of leaves, no longer green but golden yellow and orange, all dried and crunchy with a child urge to play and stomp all over them. 
    The wind is strong refreshing and cold yet we still feel the warmth of the sun warming our bones, the rain down pour that is welcomed from a dry(ish) summer. A relief.

    This seasonal shift we begin to slowly become more introverted, possibly sluggish and the bowels become dryer,  needing more hydration and sleep. The shift has started, time to let go and journey within. According to Chinese medicine, Autumn is related to the Lungs and dryness. The Lungs are also connected with the Large Intestine and Skin, the upper body and face- so you may notice respiratory issues arise such as dry or phlegm prone coughs, sinusitis, sneezing, sore throats, constipation, eczema just to name a few.

    This is the best time to wear scarfs and keep warm, to stop consuming summer foods and drinks – avoiding ice cold drinks, raw and cold foods including salads. Reducing mucus producing foods and drinks like smoothies, dairy -milk and cheeses, banana’s these build up in the respiratory system giving rise to phlegm.

    Time to embrace, warm cooked foods in particular soups and congee, room temperature water, warm herbal fresh ginger teas, poached pears with cinnamon. Porridge. Early nights & regular acupuncture.

    **AUTUMN SPECIAL**

    In China it’s common in late Summer/early Autumn for people to get a series of Acupuncture sessions to build the Lungs/ respiratory/immune system to prevent colds and flu’s, including the severity and duration especially prior to Winter. If you’re wanting to have more energy to be doing the things you love without sickness taking up your time, then give us a call.
    Autumn Special: mention this flyer to receive your Standard Initial Consultation Session for $120 (Save $60) 
    Dr MJ Laskov 0435 455 707 
    *Offer ends 1st May 2018* Excludes Radiant Queen sessions*

    The challenge, and gift, of the Tesla Metamorphosis practitioner is to judge nothing…extending their loving heart to all…even the most unlovable (in self and others). Here is where a radical shift in consciousness can take place…raising our vibration and causing us to take on a higher frequency, or, state of awareness/consciousness. The lightness of being that can be felt when one chooses to do this is remarkably liberating. This may be a task we all need to do, to enable ourselves to move out of the quandary we have been in for so long.

    (In steps a voice of doubt)….

    How could I not judge all the bad stuff? How could I forgive, and ‘be’ forgiven for all the wrongs that have been committed?  We need to be punished! We don’t deserve the privilege of not being held accountable.

    Here might be where we get stuck.  If only we could ‘see’ (have a birds eye view) of the cause of things…the natural course of events which lead up to things happening…things said…things done; “Ah, yes”…we might think…”Now I can understand why that happened! It wasn’t ‘because’ of me, it was because of …..” Knowing there is rhyme and reason to things, we wouldn’t need to take things personally; we wouldn’t need to accept the burden of being solely responsible (or making others solely responsible) for all the “bad” stuff. We are not sole perpetrators…we are participants…acting from a natural instinct and drive to do so. Are we going to blame ourselves, or others, for having been unconscious players?  When we don’t realise the karmic wheel we are stuck on – the cause and effect nature of the natural world – well, we continue the motions, the “eye for an eye” thing. When we finally see, and realise, this automatic pilot cycle we are stuck on, we can begin to imagine a way out of it; and so glad will be our heart. A great teacher taught us to ‘turn the other cheek’. Being no impractical suggestion, this was a practical ‘instruction’ on how to negate this perpetuating karmic cycle…how to neutralise it affects.

    Back to the part about forgiving self; once we realise the cycle we are trapped in, we can slowly (or quickly) begin to develop mercy and compassion for ourselves. Recognizing our own mishaps of judgment and action in others will allow us to begin to have mercy and compassion for ourselves.  We will be able to give mercy; and, you know how it goes….what you ‘give’ you shall receive.

    (Voice of doubt queries)….  Is there punishment in ‘knowing’ these things, but not ‘acting’ on them? (i.e. By continuing to act badly, do we compound our ability to forgive ourselves?)

    Just know this is a very tough and stubborn ‘skin’ we are trying to shed…our old habits; and let us not put ourselves down for occasionally slipping up. Instead, know this is a hard task, and expect to occasionally fall backwards. But, let us persevere…let us ‘carry our crosses’, and, keep our heads pointed in the direction we want to go.

    Afterthought:

    When tempted to become angry (for example), rather than slipping into the whole drama and fiasco of it (and ultimate guilt/karma) reason with yourself – ask: ‘why’ am I feeling angry?  Bring awareness to the situation – minus any need to judge it – remembering it is a natural response…an ‘effect’ of a cause…an equal and opposite reaction to a thing.  Light on the situation allows you navigate through it. You can decide…”O.k., where ‘do’ I want to go with this? Actually, I don’t ‘want’ to be angry; so, I will let it go”.

    Tracy Morrow – Telsa Practitioner, Prana House

    In most relationships at some stage we reach a point where we wonder whether it is worth fighting for. The daily grind of trying to keep it all together begins to wear us down, the fights escalate, and the distance between us grows. We become overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task to reconcile our differences that we begin to think it might be easier just to cut and run.

    However before you do I would like you to consider things very carefully. I am a big believer in the power of couples to revive their relationships so long as they make the decision to work together to create a better relationship. Because the truth is it’s rarely your partner (or even yourself) that is the problem, it’s the patterns of behaviour that you get stuck in that are the true enemy in your relationship.

    Some of the common issues couples face, which can lead to resentment and disconnection include:

    • Either a lack of communication, or different communication styles
    • Disempowering beliefs
    • Not respecting your partner’s highest values
    • Not speaking your partners love language
    • A lack of awareness of how your past has shaped your current behaviours (and your partner’s)
    • Not understanding the differing needs of men and women in regards to sex and intimacy

    Once these patterns are identified and new patterns implemented, things can change dramatically. Sometimes it can be a difference in just one of these areas that causes a rift between the two of you, however over time it permeates through your entire relationship. Making some simple changes can subsequently create a profound improvement in your relationship.

    Today, statistics show that close to 50% of all marriages fail, however the rate of failure of second marriages is around 70%, and third marriages is closer to 80%. Are some people just unlucky in love? I don’t think so. The reality is that people do not learn the lessons from their first marriage, and take the same patterns of behaviour into their subsequent marriages. Learning and understanding why your current relationship is struggling is the key to creating that magical relationship that we all desire.

    There are, however, times where you really do need to consider ending your relationship. These include:

    • When your partner is physically or verbally abusive and refuses to get help
    • When you have what I term ‘non-negotiable differences’, such as one partner wanting children and the other not, and
    • When you are disillusioned and you have tried repeatedly to get your partner to come with you to see someone to help work on your relationship, but they refuse to do it

    It is vitally important that your partner respects your desire to work on your relationship. If they refuse repeatedly then it is time to give them an ultimatum. Your relationship is something that should be giving you joy, not pain, so it is your absolute right to request that your partner work with you on it. And funnily enough, often it is when you tell them that you have had enough and you are actually leaving the relationship that your partner finally will seek out the help that you’ve wanted all along!

    If your relationship is not providing you with the fulfilment and passion that you need, then perhaps it’s time to do something about it. Relationship coaching is a highly effective way to get your relationship back on track and give you the tools to continue to grow and flourish together. So don’t just give up or put up, instead fight for the relationship that you truly deserve. It will absolutely be worth it!

    Book your COMPLIMENTARY  Relationship Check-up with Matt in the month of April bookings can be made via email or ph: 0416 211 424