In the beginning of a relationship we bend over backwards to support our partner, often agreeing to do things that we may not necessarily want to do in order to please them and solidify our relationship. But over time, as we slip back into a more comfortable union, we naturally begin to focus more on our own needs and stop looking for ways to please our partner as we used to do. As a result conflict begins to arise, and if it is not dealt with in a healthy and constructive way it can lead to resentment, and potentially the eventual demise of the relationship.
The greatest advantage of being in a relationship is having the support from your partner that enables us to thrive and achieve our potential. Knowing you have a partner who has your back gives you the courage to take on life’s challenges. But too often when conflict takes hold we end up as opponents rather than teammates, which not only can destroy the relationship, but also leads to stress related health problems such as heart disease, depression and other immune related illnesses.
In any relationship there are two different and unique people, and that is important if we want a dynamic and passionate relationship. It’s our polarities that create the desire and the passion in our relationship, but those polarities can also pull us apart if we are unable to accept our partner’s view of the world. Following are 5 keys to how to use conflict in a positive way to create a strong and healthy partnership;
Effectively resolving conflict can be a tricky process, but it is possible if you both are prepared to work at it. Maybe now is a good time to re-assess the way you communicate and ask if it’s working for you. If not, perhaps it’s time to begin a new way.
I see myself not as a practitioner who has to set up a business to operate, but a businesswoman in the health and wellness industry. I have a mission to help people cultivate their highest potential and live their best lives by showing them ways to connect to their inner wisdom and transform their lives… so I’m looking for practical ways I can offer my services to as many clients as I can.
Every practitioner brings a different set of skills and a unique blend of flavour to his/her practice. I’ve been trying to find a way of expressing all the work I do with my clients above and beyond my modality – kinesiology. And it hasn’t been an easy or straightforward process.
Firstly, I had to break through all the barriers inside me that told me I wasn’t good enough, neither as a kinesiologist, nor as a businesswoman. Then I had to re-write all my conditioning that told me my dreams were impossible to achieve… the conditioning that caused me to subconsciously self-sabotage. This spilled into my personal life too… I sabotaged my weight-loss efforts, believed I wasn’t creative so I wouldn’t complete my creative projects, I did’t accept positive feedback in my day job (I’m in non-for-profit management) and I wouldn’t permit myself to imagine myself as successful. Then, I had to figure out who my ideal clients were… Who would I like to spend most of my time with, who inspires me, who would push me to face my fears and be the best version of myself so I can guide them do same… I found that I am passionate about contributing to the wellbeing of members of the LGBTIQ community. I found that I considered myself a member of this community too and that I had many stories and experiences that allowed me to relate to the community like no other…
It was an intense process… Not only did I have to find the essence of my work, but I had to communicate that essence by writing my story and condensing all my life changing experiences into a couple of pages. I had to also express my story from the point of view of my ideal client so that they can relate to it too.
After weeks of searching and re-framing my mindset, I think I’ve arrived at some clarity. I didn’t do it alone of course. I have a wonderful business coach who has been guiding and inspiring me every step the way. She’s introduced me to a wonderful group of powerful women who are all going through a similar process and in them, I found the best counsel. My partner has been a wonderful sounding board and I’ve been lucky to have incredible friends and family in my life who enlighten me through every interaction.
So now I’m in search of my visual brand. I’m learning how to express myself through my brand and this has meant countless hours on Pinterest, refining my visual expression skills. Today, I came across a picture that delighted me to no end and made my whole being smile. I’ve posted it here… Let me know your thoughts.
Next, I’m looking at how I can package my work so that I can add most value for my clients. I’ll be bringing this all together in the next couple of months…
The quality of your intimate relationship is directly responsible for your level of satisfaction in all areas of your life. Yet so many people put up with an unfulfilling relationship and don’t do anything about it. I see many people who know that they are not satisfied with their relationship, yet they find excuses not to do anything about it. Here are five of the most common excuses:
Are you using any of these excuses for not working on your relationship? Perhaps now is a good time to drop the excuses and do something about it, for don’t you deserve to have that amazing relationship you have always dreamed of?
Book your COMPLIMENTARY 1 Hour introductory session with Matt today, bookings can be made via email or ph: 0416 211 424.
In every relationship there are times when the flame begins to flicker. Some couples are able to re-ignite the flame, whilst others never find the key to bringing the passion back into their relationship. So, what do those who maintain a successful and loving long-term relationship do differently? Here are seven possible answers;
Matt Glover is a qualified Master Life Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Master Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. He is the founder of Happy and Healthy Relationships, and also runs a divorce support meet-up group to provide a forum for people trying to deal with the devastation of a broken relationship. He has a very gentle, easy going manner, and is passionate about helping people to live a wholehearted and abundant life. Book your COMPLIMENTARY 1 Hour introductory session with Matt today, bookings can be made via email or ph: 0416 211 424.
What burdens are you carrying from your family that prevents you from experiencing inner peace, ease and flow in your life?
Are you tired of carrying these burdens that don’t belong to you?
Are you ready to unlock the hidden dynamics of your ancestral lines that hold you back?
Have you tried a variety of healing modalities and therapies to help relieve these burdens and resolve longstanding issues that keep you stuck in your life story?
Are you willing to look and feel with naked truthfulness, acceptance and courage?
Are you finally ready to manifest the life you yearn to create???
Then keep reading………
Family Constellations is a psychodynamic and spiritual approach to resolving current problems by looking into family systems and ancestral lines. This therapeutic approach was developed in 1990 by Bert Hellinger- a German gestalt and systems psycho-therapist and a Roman Catholic priest, who spent many years in South Africa living with the Zulu people observing their family systems. We are all born into a family system and have a unique and special place in within it. Our family is the first place where we experience belonging, love, emotional safety, care, receiving and harmony. But as we all know, families aren’t always able to provide this in a balanced, loving and harmonious way. As children, out of deep and absolute love for our parents, we are willing to unconsciously carry their burdens in order to create a sense or safety and harmony in our family environment. As children, we also don’t have the capacity to create clear boundaries and voice what is right for us, and thus our needs are overlooked, dismissed or violated, resulting in emotional entanglements and disordering in the family system From this perspective current problems are perceived as stemming back to these entanglements, disorders (one example being a child carrying a parent emotionally) and exclusions (secrets). Sometimes we are not aware of past traumatic events that created the original disorder in our family lineage, but it gets passed on in our family’s soul both unconsciously and energetically. And we carry the burden of it!
The purpose of family constellation work is to re-harmonize a family system by reaching into the soul of a family with humility, respect and dignity. If you are willing to enter the experience of family constellation work with openness and curiosity about the experience, you will be sure to invite a newfound sense of freedom and lightness into your life.
So how does it work……….
In Family Constellations, the facilitator creates an open space for whatever needs to come out to come out. It uses a somatic approach and favors a whole body sensing and feeling experience over thinking and analyzing, to uncover hidden dynamics of the unconscious mind and soul. The facilitator will ask you to briefly describe an issue that is impacting you the most right now. The clearer you are about the issue, the deeper your constellation will go. The facilitator will then ask you to give some information about your current family, family or origin (parents) and both maternal and paternal grandparents. You will be asked about any major traumas in you family line such as death, divorce, migration, war, pregnancy loss and abuse. From the information you have given, the facilitator will decide who will be
represented in your constellation and you will be asked to choose people or objects to represent those people or issues. For example if your issue is depression, the facilitator will ask you to chose a person to represent yourself, your mother, father, possibly grandparents and depression and then place those people and issue in relation to yourself. These people are referred to as representatives. The facilitator will then guide the constellation based on feedback given by representatives on what they are feeling in the form of sensations in their body. You will then view your constellation unfold through the representatives, and will be asked to join the constellation when either you feel compelled to or when the facilitator thinks it’s appropriate for you to be included. You can choose to observe the entire constellation, however, it is a more powerful experience when you become part of it.
Family Constellation work can be facilitated through:
– Group workshops where other workshop participants will act as your representatives
– Individual sessions where the facilitator, floor anchors or objects will act as representatives.
– Hypno-constellations where the facilitator will ask you to bring your family and issue into your minds eye
Family Constellations can involve intense emotional releases and experiences and this is where the family soul experiences shifts, movements and freedom.
Family constellation work is brief, solution-focused therapy and issues can be transformed within 2-5 sessions. If you have engaged in counselling, personal
development or other healing modalities, then this will be a very brief intervention for you.
If this article had made you curious about this work, come along to our workshop Healing the Soul. Please see the events page on this website for further details.
If you prefer to work privately, book in for an individual session by contacting Yogahari Healing directly:
Eleni Kyrpigikidis is a qualified Social Worker and Counsellor, a certified Yoga Teacher, and Yoga Nidra teacher and a certified Family Constellation facilitator.