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In every relationship there are times when the flame begins to flicker. Some couples are able to re-ignite the flame, whilst others never find the key to bringing the passion back into their relationship. So, what do those who maintain a successful and loving long-term relationship do differently? Here are seven possible answers;

  1. They focus on their partner’s positive attributes, and tell them how much they appreciate these qualities. Sometimes it can seem difficult to find these, and even harder to communicate them to your partner, but when you do it can change the dynamics of your relationship enormously.
  1. They listen. I mean REALLY listen. Ask your partner how they are feeling and then simply listen until they have said what they need to say. Remove judgement and show empathy to their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with what they are saying. If you don’t acknowledge your partner’s feelings they will feel unsupported and disrespected, and that is a certain passion killer! Truly listening builds a bridge between you that will re-connect you to the love and passion that you once had.
  1. They empower their partner. Try being your partner’s number one fan. When they are happy, join in and share their happiness. When they achieve something good then celebrate with them. Pop a bottle of champagne or go out to dinner. When they are going through a stressful time, stand beside them and let them know that you are there to support them.
  2. They work as a team. So often couples get so caught up in their power struggles they end up feeling like they’re on opposing teams. Try making a pact to get back on the same team, and to work together to solve whatever issues you may be facing. Chances are this approach will enable you to find solutions that you hadn’t previously thought of.
  1. They are adventurous. Couples who keep the spark alive aren’t afraid to try new things. If you feel stuck in a rut have a think about some things you could do that you normally wouldn’t do, and then just do them! Some may work for you, others mightn’t, but you will have fun trying and you will likely learn more about each other along the way.
  1. They treat each other the same way as they did when they first met. Couples often wonder why the passion has died, yet they no longer do the things that they did to capture their lover’s heart. Have a think back to those early days. What did you do then that you don’t do now? Try re-establishing some of those habits and your partner will love you for it!
  2. They commit to continuous improvement in their relationship. If something isn’t working they look at ways to find a solution that works for both of them. They believe that being in love is more important than being right, and accept that it’s ok not to have things exactly how they want them. If you have not made a commitment to continuous improvement, when is now a good time to start?

Matt Glover is a qualified Master Life Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Master Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. He is the founder of Happy and Healthy Relationships, and also runs a divorce support meet-up group to provide a forum for people trying to deal with the devastation of a broken relationship. He has a very gentle, easy going manner, and is passionate about helping people to live a wholehearted and abundant life. Book your COMPLIMENTARY 1 Hour introductory session with Matt today, bookings can be made via email or ph: 0416 211 424.

What burdens are you carrying from your family that prevents you from experiencing inner peace, ease and flow in your life?

Are you tired of carrying these burdens that don’t belong to you?

Are you ready to unlock the hidden dynamics of your ancestral lines that hold you back?

Have you tried a variety of healing modalities and therapies to help relieve these burdens and resolve longstanding issues that keep you stuck in your life story?

Are you willing to look and feel with naked truthfulness, acceptance and courage?

Are you finally ready to manifest the life you yearn to create???

Then keep reading………

Family Constellations is a psychodynamic and spiritual approach to resolving current problems by looking into family systems and ancestral lines. This therapeutic approach was developed in 1990 by Bert Hellinger- a German gestalt and systems psycho-therapist and a Roman Catholic priest, who spent many years in South Africa living with the Zulu people observing their family systems. We are all born into a family system and have a unique and special place in within it. Our family is the first place where we experience belonging, love, emotional safety, care, receiving and harmony. But as we all know, families aren’t always able to provide this in a balanced, loving and harmonious way. As children, out of deep and absolute love for our parents, we are willing to unconsciously carry their burdens in order to create a sense or safety and harmony in our family environment. As children, we also don’t have the capacity to create clear boundaries and voice what is right for us, and thus our needs are overlooked, dismissed or violated, resulting in emotional entanglements and disordering in the family system From this perspective current problems are perceived as stemming back to these entanglements, disorders (one example being a child carrying a parent emotionally) and exclusions (secrets). Sometimes we are not aware of past traumatic events that created the original disorder in our family lineage, but it gets passed on in our family’s soul both unconsciously and energetically. And we carry the burden of it!

The purpose of family constellation work is to re-harmonize a family system by reaching into the soul of a family with humility, respect and dignity. If you are willing to enter the experience of family constellation work with openness and curiosity about the experience, you will be sure to invite a newfound sense of freedom and lightness into your life.

So how does it work……….

In Family Constellations, the facilitator creates an open space for whatever needs to come out to come out. It uses a somatic approach and favors a whole body sensing and feeling experience over thinking and analyzing, to uncover hidden dynamics of the unconscious mind and soul. The facilitator will ask you to briefly describe an issue that is impacting you the most right now. The clearer you are about the issue, the deeper your constellation will go. The facilitator will then ask you to give some information about your current family, family or origin (parents) and both maternal and paternal grandparents. You will be asked about any major traumas in you family line such as death, divorce, migration, war, pregnancy loss and abuse. From the information you have given, the facilitator will decide who will be
represented in your constellation and you will be asked to choose people or objects to represent those people or issues. For example if your issue is depression, the facilitator will ask you to chose a person to represent yourself, your mother, father, possibly grandparents and depression and then place those people and issue in relation to yourself. These people are referred to as representatives. The facilitator will then guide the constellation based on feedback given by representatives on what they are feeling in the form of sensations in their body. You will then view your constellation unfold through the representatives, and will be asked to join the constellation when either you feel compelled to or when the facilitator thinks it’s appropriate for you to be included. You can choose to observe the entire constellation, however, it is a more powerful experience when you become part of it.

Family Constellation work can be facilitated through:

– Group workshops where other workshop participants will act as your representatives

– Individual sessions where the facilitator, floor anchors or objects will act as representatives.

– Hypno-constellations where the facilitator will ask you to bring your family and issue into your minds eye

Family Constellations can involve intense emotional releases and experiences and this is where the family soul experiences shifts, movements and freedom.
Family constellation work is brief, solution-focused therapy and issues can be transformed within 2-5 sessions. If you have engaged in counselling, personal
development or other healing modalities, then this will be a very brief intervention for you.

If this article had made you curious about this work, come along to our workshop Healing the Soul. Please see the events page on this website for further details.

If you prefer to work privately, book in for an individual session by contacting Yogahari Healing directly:

yogaharihealing.com

Eleni Kyrpigikidis is a qualified Social Worker and Counsellor, a certified Yoga Teacher, and Yoga Nidra teacher and a certified Family Constellation facilitator.

post1How’s business? What’s happening?

What would you like to have happen?

When I ask my clients, “How’s business, what’s happening?”, I sometimes get a response like…

“Business is okay but I’m lacking enthusiasm, motivation and focus” and, “my confidence is low, I’m doubting myself”.

With just a few, well-chosen questions, I get to the root cause and then something akin to the following unfolds:

“I’m unfulfilled and lacking direction and I’m not getting results. I originally wanted to do this work but now I’m here because I have a mortgage hanging over my head. It’s getting to me. The stress is leaking into my home life.

I’m an achiever, not a loser, but I’m spiraling. Maybe I’m depressed? Whatever it is I can’t snap out of it. I know there is something more for me but I don’t know what it is. I haven’t talked to anyone about this yet.”

I meet this client often. Someone, who despite their best efforts, is lacking fulfillment, meaning and purpose and is disconnected from their potential. It’s clear to me that this person is capable of making a huge impact in life but only when their thoughts, feelings and actions are aligned with what’s possible for them.

What my clients want is simple. They want to wake up in the morning and feel motivated, enthusiastic and driven about the work they will devote their entire day to. And that regardless of whether it’s challenging or not, they want to feel excited because they love their work and they’re good at it. Like a surgeon who wakes up and says out loud, “I love my job and I’m going to be awesome today”.

And when this happens, there is an abundance of energy and flow. The kind of energy that is focused, calm, confident and smooth. The kind of flow where all you need to do is take the first step of any task, procedure or responsibility and the rest just happens exactly as you want it to.

And with this energy and flow, your A-game becomes natural, effortless and unfolding. Without thought, it just happens. You’re just doing it – the results are evident.

In a corporate setting, the words fulfillment, meaning and purpose are often considered abstract and fluffy terms; that when you attempt to obtain them it feels like clutching at air.

However, fulfillment, meaning and purpose are huge contributors to engagement, business longevity, performance and ultimately profitability. They are also very much achievable. What make them possible are measurable qualities of value unique to each individual.

Fulfillment, meaning and purpose happen at the intersection of your values, ideals and strengths. That’s when you find yourself doing what you love to do and as a result you are being the way you want to feel because it’s an expression of the most notable and favoured talents that you have.

  • Know your Values, what you love to DO, and live them.
  • Know your Ideals, how you love to BE, and embody them.
  • Know what your Strengths are, what you best HAVE to give, and play to them.

That’s how you set yourself up for success.

And when you action these simultaneously in your profession, and flow and energy happens, then you will have the kind of impact that you have always known and sensed you are capable of.

And, it will become real for you and others.

The Next Step

I’m dedicated to assisting professionals and entrepreneurs, who struggle to perform at their peak, to upgrade the way they think, feel and act so they can achieve more profitability, more influence and more impact.

If you’d like to find out how I may assist Click here and book a Free 10 minute chat

Written by Heath Myers. Heath Myers, Agent of Change, is a professional and highly experienced transformational life coach, executive coach, holistic counselor and program facilitator with over 12 years experience teaching, studying and practicing a variety of advanced personal and professional development systems. He offers outcomes-focused coaching specifically for those who are serious about getting enhanced results in life and making real change. Click here to read this blog and others by Heath.

Some humans seem to always be searching for answers. Deep, spiritual and meaningful answers to fundamental and life-defining questions. The search for these answers takes us on a journey to find ourselves, to understand ourselves and ultimately to change ourselves for the better.

I have a love-hate relationship with my head. At times, it fails me. I feel out of control, alone, frantic and then the anxiety, self doubt and exasperation sets in and I’m spinning out of control into a deeper and deeper hole of my dark emotions. Sometimes I hit the bottom but mostly I cling to the wall, hoping I can pull myself out this time before I head too deep.
choices-in-lifeOther times I feel light, calm and balanced. I feel happy, I feel alive, I feel gratitude. I have amazing clarity, everything in life flows and it takes quite a bit to knock me into my spinning downward spiral. The rest of the time I’m grappling between the two states, transitioning from one to the other.

This is my journey. These are the ebbs and flows of my life. I’m not special, I’m not unique, I’m just acutely aware of how my mind teaches me about life. I’m aware of how events that occurred many years ago still influence me today because, some of the time, I choose reaction rather than action. Becoming aware of this means I can choose to change for the better.

The biggest lesson that kinesiology has taught me over the years is that I have a choice in absolutely every part of my life. Yes, all of it. I choose to allow the low times in, to really feel them and process them so I can recognise and appreciate the better times. I can choose to find the source of my feeling: is it coming from fear? Is it coming from past experience? I can choose to work my passion rather than the job that paid me well. I can choose to see something with rose tinted glasses or I can choose to see the dread. I can choose to question everything.

Kinesiology can help you on the rocky road to understanding yourself. You will find out things about your mind you didn’t realise existed. You will identify patterns, you will revisit your childhood, you will start to grasp the real reasons you are sick, in pain or anxious and can’t sleep. But ultimately YOU do the work. You are the one who will resonate with your blocks, you are the one who ultimately reprograms your head and you are the one who will need to change your perspective. Use kinesiology as your tool, but go in with eyes open that you are choosing to work for your development, your change. You are the only one in control of your life and you must make a conscious choice to develop it.

Written by Phillipa Huynh. Phillipa is a kinesiologist working at Prana House who teaches you how to make your life ‘fit’ again. Previously working for 12 years in the corporate world, Phillipa knows all too well how stress can affect you and works with you to give you the tools to face life’s challenges head on and bring about a sense of balance. You can contact Phillipa by emailing phillipa@simplykinesiology.com.au or visiting http://simplykinesiology.com.au

How do you welcome yourself into the day?

What habits do you have to keep your body and mind nourished and nurtured? Before diving into the ocean of Ayurveda, I hadn’t given these questions much thought at all.

Sure, I knew starting the day with a bit of exercise, a good breakfast, maybe some yoga and meditation was a good idea… but why? Why in the morning? And why does it matter if it’s regular or not?

Can’t I just start the day with a double shot latte, and forget about breakfast? Eat lunch at my desk around 2pm, reach for the chocolate around 4pm for a quick pick me up, can’t focus, have another coffee, have dinner late because I went to my workout/yoga class/spin class after work, over eat because pushed though my hunger 2 hours ago, actually …pretty sure I skipped lunch because we were so busy at work! …Sound familiar?

Apparently that’s not the way forward if I want to experience optimum health and to prevent any kind of nervous breakdown in the future!

Screen Shot 2016-10-02 at 12.07.41 pmSeeking Balance
Our bodies are constantly aiming for homeostasis; equilibrium in the internal environment of our physiology. When we create a routine that supports this aim, the results are more energy, clearer thinking, increased productivity, a more robust immune system and of course a more peaceful experience of day-to-day life.

The exploration of Ayurveda has not only offered me insight into all of this; it’s given me a greater understanding of self-care and preventive health through the act of dinacharya – the daily routine of self-care; A routine that aligns us with the rhythms in nature.

When our bodies are synced with the rhythms in nature, our internal rhythms, known as biorhythms associated with hormone production, healthy digestion, menstruation, and a strong immune system are supported to function optimally.

The following is an example of dinacharya or daily self care routine recommended through Ayurveda. Following this type of routine helps to keeps the body and mind in check and less affected by the changes of season.

Dinacharya – Daily Routine:

  1.  Wake and get moving before sunrise. Being up before first light allows the body to synchronize with the rhythm of the sun. It’s also the time of day that the elements in nature support the meditation, yoga prayer and a healthy bowel movement, which is key to optimum digestion!
  2.  Say a prayer/give thanks Training the mind to begin each day with positively, optimism, is a beautiful way to start the day. You know what they say about our thoughts influencing the world around us? When we start the day in a positive mindset, positivity is bound to follow.
  3.  Scrape the tongue Ever heard of an Ayurvedic tongue scrapper? Doing this first thing, followed by brushing the teeth and swishing cold pressed sesame oil, (known as gandoosh) in the mouth for a minimum of 5 minutes, will cleanse the mouth teeth and gums protecting them from harmful bacteria, offering numerous benefits including whitening the teeth!Honey Lemon and Ginger
  4.  Drink warm lemon, honey and ginger water first thing in the morning before food – this helps to prepare the digestive tract for breakfast and assists the body’s natural elimination processes. Make sure you use organic raw honey and add the honey to the water only when it’s warm, not boiling hot as boiling water will reduce the medicinal benefits of this precious ingredient.
  5.  Evacuation – that’s right, I’m talking poo here. A great morning routine encourages bowel movement. For optimum digestion, this happens ideally before consuming your next meal.
  6.  Warm Oil Self Massage – In Ayurveda it is said that every human being needs regular oil massage. Self-massage is a great to way to get this. Regular self massage strengthens the immune system, improves self confidence, counter fatigue and improve sleep.
  7.  Bathe or shower – Before breakfast and before meditation as an act of cleansing the body, and allowing the warm herbal oils to settle into the skin.
  8.  Meditation – Can be considered a form of eating, a type of food for the brain and body. Meditation can soothe a hungry mind. There is so much ‘scientific’ evidence available now proving the benefits of meditation. One key benefit being mental clarity and a sense of peace that prevails in moments of chaos when a regular practice is kept.
  9.  Nourish yourself with a warm delicious easy to digest breakfast particularly in the cooler months or if the digestion is weak.
  10. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at the same time each day, taking time to be with your meal and appreciate it with full awareness. Bring your awareness of the taste, the colours, the smells the sounds of each mouthful. All of this enhances the body’s ability to digest, process and assimilate the nutrients from every mouthful and ingredient.
  11. Sip warm or room temperature water throughout the day to encourage and support digestion and keep the body hydrated.
  12. Be in bed with lights out before 10pm for optimum rest and the best quality sleep. The news isn’t new that the hours we sleep before midnight is the richest hours of and Ayurveda suggests that doing so results in more energy, increased memory and longer life – you never know until you give it a go! 😉

I know what you’re thinking….’how on Earth am I going to find the time to do all of this!!’

Don’t worry; I’ve been there. That was my initial reaction.

The key is to be realistic. Create an achievable routine that works for you and your circumstance. If you’re not sure where to start come in and see me for a consultation and we can tailor a routine specific for you.

Keep in mind, the more energy you have, the more time expands, or at least it feels that way! The more you implement a self care routine in your life, the more energy you have!

What daily rituals or routines do you already have in your life that support and generate strength and vitality? Love to hear from you!

Written by Carla Beasley. Carla is an Ayrevedic Lifestyle Consultant and Yoga Instructor who is the owner of The Nourishment Garden. Contact Carla on +61 402 467 234 or visit her website for full details.